these are sweet please send some SRSLY.
Blue: What song do you listen to when you're feeling down?
Cup: Do you drink Tea or Coffee?
Dopey: Tell us an embarrassing story.
English: How many languages can you speak?
Fear: Tell us three fears.
Game: What was the last board game you played?
Harry Potter: What was the last book you read?
Injury: Have you ever walked into a glass door?
Jump: Do five jumping jacks/star jump.
Kiss: Who's your biggest celebrity crush?
Love: Do you believe in marriage?
Money: What would you do with 1 million dollars?
Naughty: Tell us three things that your parents disapprove of?
Oops: What is one thing you'd like to change/fix?
Picture: Post a pic of your lovely face.
Quality: Name three of your favourite blogs.
Rapunzel: Name three Disney movies that you adore.
Star-sign: When's your birthday?
Teacher: What do you aspire to be?
Unite: Do you sponsor a cause?
Varsity: Do you play/watch sport?
Word: Write out your URL in your handwriting
Xylophone: Do you play an instrument?
Yellow: What's your favourite colour?
Zoo: What is your favourite animal?
I AM BEGGING YOU TO DO THIS
*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer
jackstroubleinatanktop: jaiiim: ...
worb: to stop kids from doing drugs they should just give the drugs less cool names if ecstasy was called “moist curdle” i can assure you that nobody would be interested in trying it
So I hear Obamacare passed.
harpalyce: thingsareswinging: And a whole load of Republicans are threatening to move to Canada in light of this? Should- should somebody tell them? No, no, no. Let’s let it be a surprise.
rryland: do you ever just wanna sit next to someone and listen to everything they could possibly say about anything ever just because you like their face and their voice and their general existence
nosdrinker: WE’RE ALSO GONNA HAVE A SERIOUS TALK ABOUT THE JAPANESE SPIDER CRAB THERE IS NO REASON FOR THESE THINGS TO EXIST SHH NO DREAMS ONLY TEARS NOW
venusaurphobia: I wonder if Jesus’s friends ever called him “Jeez” or “Young Jeezy” or “J Naz.” Naz is short for Nazareth. J Nazty. Spread the word.
officialvillevalo: “they used my name in another shitty pop song” mick jagger whispered as he cried himself to sleep
i hate when you become really close with someone but then they start becoming friends with other people and they slowly forget about you and you’re just like oh
me (surprised): omg
me (amused): omg
me (angry): omg
me (sad): omg
me (nostalgic): omg
me (annoyed): omg
me (scared): omg
life is hard when you’re shy and just below average looking
…I’ve never been a 17 year old girl, it’s rather interesting to think like one,...– Steven Moffat. I just love this quote from him, okay. (via waiting-for-the-tardis) You’re god damned straight it made you angry. (via androidscoot)
schmidtgasm: i want to be reincarnated into scott disick
pizzaforpresident: OH MY GOD My boss just texted me asking to come into work at 4:30 in the morning and I threw my phone down and was like “you’re such a faggot I fucking hate you” and then I heard the Siri confirmation noise and I picked up my phone and
Things I Say While Driving
Me: Fuck you, oh. Fuck. You.
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Good luck in the slow lane there, bud.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: Lolol your car's a piece of shit.
Me: If I miss that green light because of you...
Me: You're gonna cut me off? You better hope you have a damn good accelerator, bitch.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: Nope, roof rack.
Me: Wait, what was that noise?
Character 1 from OTP: Hey.
Character 2 from OTP: Hello.
Me: Their sexual tension is killing me
bitch-pudding: schoolgirl: Fat Albert erotic fanfiction fifty shades of hey hey hey